Finding my true north
It’s often said that our inner guidance is like a GPS guiding us through life. Based on my experience as a frequent Uber passenger, I’ve had to respectfully disagree.
For one, a GPS needs a fairly accurate destination inputted (it’s a real word, Google it) right from the start. Ever tried taking an Uber trip using vague directions? You’ll end up hopelessly lost and more than a little broke.
Yet my life has been amazing lately despite not having the coordinates pinned.
I don’t have more materially than I had a year ago and nothing is radically different. I’m just happier. More accepting of myself, more at peace with those around me, and curiously comfortable knowing that when it comes to adulting (not a real word, don’t Google it), winging it is working out for me.
But if I don’t know what I’m doing, how am I getting “it” so right?
With the GPS myth debunked, I went looking for some answers. Has it been my inner guidance leading the way? If so, what exactly is it? How the heck is it doing it? And how have I been following it?
After considerable thought, I recognised the one little thing I was doing differently from what I’ve been doing before. Could it really be so simple?
First a quick recap of the Law of Attraction: We’re all energy and energy vibrates. Our thoughts determine our beliefs; our beliefs determine our vibration; our vibration determines who and what we attract into our lives.
The people, situations, and events we attract simply mirror our beliefs.
The one little thing I’ve been doing differently? I see the people, situations, and events in my life from the perspective of: “What are you trying to tell me about my beliefs?”
It’s not complicated because life makes us feel either good or bad as indicators of our vibration.
If it makes you feel good, do more of that. If someone makes you happy, see more of them. If eating your favourite food brings a smile to your face, eat more of it! Easy, right? Because it’s normally the things that make us feel bad that are hard to face up to. Guilt, shame, disappointment, anger, fear of rejection…Who wants to take responsibility for those?
When I ask the question, “What are you trying to tell me about my beliefs?” there’s always an answer if I’m honest enough to hear it.
Exactly what are feelings of guilt, shame, disappointment, anger, fear of rejection, and the myriad of human emotion trying to tell me about my beliefs? Over time, I’ve developed a way of easing this process, especially when facing feelings I would rather avoid.
1. I create a safe space by reminding myself that nobody can hear my thoughts but me!
Sometimes, when we’re honest with ourselves about what we feel, we see our darkest fears but we also get to see our ridiculousness.
My most recent discovery is that I have a crush on someone I shouldn’t be crushing on! Apart from feeling the all-too-familiar sting of unrequited crush and then giggling at myself for behaving like a teen, it uncovered an underlying belief: I have a fear of commitment – quite possibly stemming from my teens – so I attract situations with non-committal people.
2. I am gentle with myself.
When you’re in your safe space, you may uncover some unflattering traits or negative beliefs you would never consciously want to hold about yourself or others. Ok, so I’ve been dragging around a belief that I fear commitment.
What happens now? I relax into it. Being mindful of it is the first step to releasing the belief.
3. I am thankful for the lesson learnt.
When you silently thank the person, situation, or event for their part in helping you uncover your hidden beliefs, they automatically become a positive contributor to your life even if the experience was negative. “Thank you, Mr Inappropriate Crush! Now let me try situations that take me outside my comfort zone and need me to commit.”
This is how I find my true north.
I don’t have to be sure of my final destination. I just need to trust that my inner compass will automatically adjust as I am mindful of the lessons that my close encounters teach me. And I have to keep the faith that the right people, including my Mr Appropriate, are finding their true norths and that we’ll get there at the same time.
Would you like to try it yourself? I’m keen to hear if it works for you, too.
Would you like to join a community of like-minded truth seekers?
About the Author
"I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say." Flannery O'Connor